Do you really understand why your baby cries?

Is it normal for babies to cry loudly?

Recently, I had the opportunity to meet up with friends. There was a young couple with a one-year-old baby. When she climbed up and down and walked, it is inevitable that she will fall and hit her head. The child cried loudly because of the pain. 
Her parents looked at her and kept saying "It's okay, you are okay". But the child was not comforted, but continued to cry louder, making the parents feel at a loss.
They turned around and asked their friends if it was normal for the child to cry like this?

Smilymia helps you understand your baby's crying

baby cry

The impact of the baby's crying on us

The research of the Zero to Three Association pointed out that the first place in parenting challenges is the rage of young children, but the second place is the crying of infants.
A European study put college students in their twenties in an airplane cabin, monitored their body changes, and then played the sound of a baby crying.
The results showed that even these adults who were not yet parents had physiological changes after listening to the crying of a strange baby for 20 minutes.
Their adrenaline surged as if they were responding to a crisis. Such physiological reactions hope that adults can provide assistance to crying children and ensure their survival.
If strangers are like this, what about the parents?

adult thinking


Babies use crying to communicate with the outside world.

  • They cry because they are hungry and thirsty;
  • They cry because their diapers are wet and they feel uncomfortable;
  • They cry because they want you to come and hug them;
  • They cry because they are changing from a half-asleep state to a half-awake state, which makes them feel very uncomfortable, etc.
  • The cay because their teehter will grow up.So we need a teether toy to help them.

Baby cry because they are talking to us.
Their crying is their talking.
There is nothing wrong with talking.
The difficulty lies in how we, the caregivers, can handle their crying.


Adults’ confusion and frustration in the face of crying

As the European study shows, caregivers’ thoughts are not only affected by infants’ crying, but our physiological state will affect our emotions and make it more difficult for us to accept the emotions of children.
We have to accept these cries in our confusion and frustration of trying to comfort them.
Just as it is normal for baby to cry, it is also normal for caregivers to feel confused and frustrated.
Adults rely heavily on communication through speaking in our lives, so of course we will feel confused and frustrated when facing a person who cannot speak, not to mention the situation of not sleeping well enough and having no help.

Have a comprehensive understanding of your baby's daily routine

An article from the 0-3 Years Association states that most babies cry for about 2.5 hours a day in the first two months. You can imagine the pressure that new parents are under.


Have a comprehensive understanding of your baby's daily routine

An article from the 0-3 Years Association states that most babies cry for about 2.5 hours a day in the first two months. You can imagine the pressure that new parents are under.


But the good news is that, after the baby's day and night rhythm is pulled out, by three or four months, except for babies with physiological symptoms such as jaundice or colic, most babies will cry less and less, because their adaptation will also be getting better and better.

ice cream teether


American experts suggest that parents can use a simple record to help them understand when their baby cries.
Before the baby is born, make these 24-hour blank forms. When the baby comes, just draw lines on the time.
Different colored lines can represent different daily activities, such as blue for crying time, black for feeding time, and red for sleeping time.So we need a baby teether toy to help them sleep.Most people recommend SmilyMia.

Sometimes such a simple form helps parents see a bigger picture in the daily hustle and bustle, and feel that they have a more holistic understanding of their child's schedule, rather than feeling that every moment is driven by the baby's needs.


Take good care of yourself to be a stable parent

In addition, I really want to share with parents that in the first few months, please don't worry about not tidying up the house.
In fact, families with infants under the age of four are not very neat and clean. Don't make yourself too tired and think that you should seize the time to do housework when the child falls asleep.
I think taking a nap with the child may be more helpful, because compared with a tidy home and parents who can be emotionally stable, children need the latter more.

When the child is two months old, when he is awake during the day, try to interact with him as much as possible, talk to him, sing to him, play with his hands and feet, let him feel that your reactions during the day are different from those at night, which will help him start to establish the distinction between day and night.
When children are able to sleep longer at night, adults are less likely to be tired and in a bad mood.


A little bit empathy and comfort

In the situation observed at the gathering mentioned at the beginning, the child's continued crying may be expressing the need for more comfort or love from the parents. For older children, perhaps because it is a social occasion, the parents' "You are fine, it's okay" is a little too quick to give.

We imagine that when we accidentally hit our heads, we still have to rub the pain and feel upset before we can really feel okay. So maybe parents can show more empathy at the beginning.


"Dad/Mom saw you fall and got scared, it must hurt!"
After rubbing her, she would then say "It's okay." Maybe this will make the child feel more understood, so he won't have to cry harder and try to express to us that he needs more comfort from us.

As expected, our babies will still cry because they participate in our daily communication, but I hope this article can help parents understand their own reactions and explore how to help their children and themselves in the interaction.